just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
