i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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