We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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