I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
