I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
