I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize