do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We need to get me chipped asap
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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