Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
