Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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