it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
