new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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