It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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