I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
