im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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