Sponge bath it is.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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