I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
