Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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