last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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