i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
