apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
