Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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