Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
vagina is talking i cant
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
