DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
