Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
