Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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