I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
