Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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