I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
