I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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