Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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