life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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