is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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