i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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