Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize