I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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