so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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