I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
