eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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