Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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