worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
