Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You can't just leave with hair like that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize