But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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