my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
