I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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