SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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