Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize