just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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