Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
