Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
