All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
