This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
