Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
