Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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