Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
