Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
