why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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