I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
