i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
