If i come over, it means nothing
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
