I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
